God's Timing

Isn't it awesome, yet sometimes troubling, at waiting for God to do something? Over the past year and a half I have spend my days at home with my sweet two year old...cleaning house, playing, reading books, cooking, etc. Every day I wake up and ask God, "What do you want me to do?", and in asking that I am meaning, "Ok, I quit my job as children's minister to stay at home, BUT I know you want me to do more than just this. In this time several opportunities have risen, but none of them have been what God wanted. I've been waiting on God and I finally feel HE has shown me what he wants me to do. Yes, I'm still going to stay at home, BUT He wants me to help start a ministry at our church. I'll write more about it later, but for now just know its NOT a full-time thing. I'm really excited and scared all at the same time because I've been away from "working" in the church (you know what I mean) for a year and a half. I was burned pretty bad in that situation and lost ALL confidence in myself so this is a HUGE step for me. In losing that confidence I finally realized I only have confidence in Christ anyway, I'm Nothing, so it really makes no difference. I know that God will provide me with everything I need to do this. God's timing on this ministry has been perfect! He knew when I would be able to say "yes" to do it, and he knew when they would be willing to start it. How cool huh!!!

On the other hand of God's timing, I think about life in general. We are put here on earth for as long as God has, and none of us know the day nor the hour for when we will pass into eternity. I've been having dreams lately at night about death. I've not been the one to die in any, but I've just been experiencing people dying that I'm close to. It has been somewhat troublesome since I've not had a good night's sleep in over a week and half due to these dreams. My grandparents for are all alive still (except one Papaw), but two of them are not in good health. I've really been burdened lately with my Papaw. He's had skin cancers removed from his ear and eye over the past month, and it doesn't seem to be stopping. With all that he's had many strokes and can't do anything really but eat and sleep (and the eating is very minimal). He is VERY close to me as I lived with them for 2 years in college. He was a pastor for 35 years, and BSU director of a Baptist college in MS until he retired and they closed the school. He is such a faithful servant of God, and I ache to see him suffer. I've asked myself over the past week, when is GOD going to choose to bring him HOME? Why does he have to go on living like this? Is this wrong for me to think? I just ask for your prayers for him and others who are in this same situation. A dear friend of mine's dad has had hospice called in and they too are going through this. Please pray for comfort for all them during this time.

SO God's timing...it's not MY timing, but it is the PERFECT timing. I hope you all have a wonderful Thursday!!!