I cannot imagine what hell is going to be like for those who do now know Jesus as their Savior and Lord, but I could sure have given some people a little glimpse of some of it today if they had walked in my shoes. I know the Bible says their will be weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth, and we've had all those today. I woke up this morning, feeling just terrible with the "morning sickness" as I didn't sleep well b/c of a migraine and allergies. I spent some time in prayer first thing because I knew I would need it. It turned out this whole day was spent in prayer...praying with out ceasing!!! We had to go to the church to get things ready for Parent's Day out which starts in 2 weeks!!! Emily had fun playing with a friend, but when it got time to go she decided that she wanted to throw the biggest baddest tantrum ever seen in this Walker household. She didn't throw just one of them while there trying to leave, but 4 of them.
As I would get her calm and get closer to the door of leaving it would happen again. So I would take her to a side room and try to calm her. I will not get into any more horror of the day, but just say that it did not improve. I have never seen Emily throw down, like this so I was in such shock. Not having a paddle with me I spanked her with my hand...not working...so we went and purchased new "paddles" today, and things seem to be turning up.
The Dr. called to confirm that she does have a UTI, so we continue with the antibiotics. I know that UTI's can make you feel like total crap, so I have some sympathy for her...but disobedience and defiance is enough. Tonight Glenn had to go back to work at 6:30 after only being home for an hour to eat, so I totally was about to lose my mind. Literally I thought that I was going to pass out and find myself in a mental hospital or something. I was cramping and starting to get very anxious so I had Emily put her shoes on so we could go in the yard. Let me just say right now that the effort to get outside was TOTALLY a God thing. She started playing on her own "grilling" and cooking for her babies...while I weeded the "garden" of peppers and carrots. It then started to sprinkle and I look up in the sky and see it....God's beautiful promise...a rainbow!!!
The rainbow got brighter and was even a double rainbow for a while. We pulled up our little chairs and propped a big umbrella over us and sat there for 30 minutes looking at this rainbow and listening to it rain. It was by far the most wonderful thing I've experienced in a long time. Emily just sat there and we talked and thanked God for the rainbow. It was truly so sweet. I cannot tell you how this simple rainbow has given me hope and joy and revived me. My daddy is having revival at his church this week...I pray it goes wonderful for them...but for me my revival was tonight, watching God speak to me and my little toddler through a rainbow.
As she bathed and got ready for bed tonight, Emily looked at me and said, "Thank you mommy for sitting with me on the porch under the umbrella while we watched the rainbow and rain!!". Can you beat that. Even my little child understood how important that time was. How awsome our God is. I feel like such a failure, and am without His strength, but He reminds me and all of us in different ways that HE IS ALWAYS with us.
On that note, good news, Glenn got the results back from his scan and his liver is normal. The small spot was just a small group of blood vessels, hematoma. Praise to the Lord God who HEARS and answers our prayers!!!! I pray you all have a wonderful rest of the week.
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